Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
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