he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
don't judge my taste in strippers
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
