We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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