just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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