Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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