Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
