If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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