omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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