my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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