i'm lost and i look like a hooker
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize