fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
