real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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