So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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