did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
