The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
