I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize