Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
