In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize