You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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