Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
