I can tuck mytits in my pants
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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