it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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