yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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