that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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