So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
