she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This is my gift to your gina
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
