Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As shirtless as possible
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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