Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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