whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize