**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
