If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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