i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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