i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
