...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
