I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize