Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
