I wanna passion pit in your ass
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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