hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
