kristin has been a bad kristin
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
