Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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