..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
