At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
