the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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