I got chris browned last night
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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