i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
