Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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