gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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