At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
