If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Naked Twister starts at high noon
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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