you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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