I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
