dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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