Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
These tits shall not be calmed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
