So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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