I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
