I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
