Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
