we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
