update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
