all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
