can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
